Stealing is never a good idea, but it’s worse when you try to lie about it. Kenneth thought he could get away with it, but security guard Johnny Ford wasn’t in the mood for letting this one slide. Allegedly, Kenneth took a large jar of lube “to try anal sex with his girlfriend,” but Johnny is not buying it. If he really wants to know how butt sex works, then Johnny will take it as a personal mission to teach him how it’s done–and Kenneth will have to do more than sit on the officer’s shift if he wants to skip the whole “calling the cops” thing.

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